In the spirit of the Academy Awards, I'd like to thank the network execs at ABC for the heavy push for their new shows during last night's award show. ABC gets my sincere gratitude for canceling two of its Men shows that I talked about last month. It seems they have replaced them with two more gender-specific titles - Don't Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23 and Good Christian Bitches.
Excuse me, I meant B**** and B, respectively. Far be it from ABC to poison our ears with such a dirty word, but let's all thank them for taking the Girl trend to a new level by graduating those child-like hipsters to full-on bitches.
So thanks, primetime network TV, for letting women know the various roles we can play in society so we won't have to use those pesky brains of ours ourselves. What would we do without you?